I got this idea from Matthew Ferry, an interesting life coach who's videos I sometimes watch. The concept of "nobody is attacking" has changed my relationships, calmed some fears and increased my happiness. Allow me to explain...
I used to feel that some people were being critical of me for no reason. If I had a business meeting with someone very successful, I felt that they were attacking me in their mind. In other words, I was always defensive and that affected my effectiveness.
It took me a long time to realize what is actually going on. I'm not shy. In fact, I'm in sales and it's my outgoing nature that has let to my success. So why do I feel that I'm often under attack? I've concluded that it's my amygdala, the reptile, almond shaped, part of the brain. It's responsible for the "freeze, fight or flight" reaction to perceived or real threats. I believe mine is a little overactive and kicks in when it really shouldn't.
Then I found a very simple fix. It's a way to hijack the amygdala that has been trying to hijack me. Here it is... BREATHE. Once the oxygen hits the brain, the amygdala will release and allow access to the prefrontal cortex and allow you to think rationally. Don't over breathe as that can disrupt the oxygen cycle.
Please comment to give me some feedback on whether this works for you.