If you've never heard of Fibonacci, he was a great Italian mathematician. He observed that there is a natural progression of numbers that is present throughout nature and the universe. Breathing, using that progression to time your breath in and out, can put you at one with nature.
First, a very simple explanation of the Fibonacci sequence. It starts with 0 then goes to 1. You add up the last two numbers, so the next number is 1. Add the last two and you get 2. Add the last two numbers (1 and 2) and it's 3. Add the last two and you get 5, Add 5 and 3 and the next number is 8, then 13, then 21 and on and on. It's really simple
So here is how you can calm yourself into a somewhat happy state. Start by breathing in for 3 counts, hold your breath for 5 counts, breath out for 8 counts. Do this for a couple of minutes, then switch to 5 in, 8 hod, 13 out. Do this for a few minutes until your calm. If you want to try more, go to 8-13-21.
The counting can be at a pace that is comfortable for you. Some people count rapidly, some slowly. Just find a moderate, comfortable pace. What's important is to keep the Fibonacci sequence.
I got this idea from Matthew Ferry, an interesting life coach who's videos I sometimes watch. The concept of "nobody is attacking" has changed my relationships, calmed some fears and increased my happiness. Allow me to explain...
I used to feel that some people were being critical of me for no reason. If I had a business meeting with someone very successful, I felt that they were attacking me in their mind. In other words, I was always defensive and that affected my effectiveness.
It took me a long time to realize what is actually going on. I'm not shy. In fact, I'm in sales and it's my outgoing nature that has let to my success. So why do I feel that I'm often under attack? I've concluded that it's my amygdala, the reptile, almond shaped, part of the brain. It's responsible for the "freeze, fight or flight" reaction to perceived or real threats. I believe mine is a little overactive and kicks in when it really shouldn't.
Then I found a very simple fix. It's a way to hijack the amygdala that has been trying to hijack me. Here it is... BREATHE. Once the oxygen hits the brain, the amygdala will release and allow access to the prefrontal cortex and allow you to think rationally. Don't over breathe as that can disrupt the oxygen cycle.
Please comment to give me some feedback on whether this works for you.
Here's a great video that will explain some of your unhappiness. Dr. Cross will teach you about trigger > Thoughts > feelings > actions.
He'll also give you a way to work on improving your thoughts, thus your feelings and thus your actions.
My wife and I went at Costco today. One of the ladies handing out a vitamin drink in little cups approached us and had a contagious happiness that just radiated from her.
We talked with her for a few minutes and her positive energy brought smiles to our faces.
I asked her what I’ve been asking everyone. “what is happiness to you” and “how do you become and/or stay happy?”
It turns out that she is always happy. Her definition of happiness is “being alive.”. Her parents were happy (genetics is 50% of happiness) so she enjoys the same positive feelings about life that her parents did.
She also brought up something that I hear from a lot of “happy – positive” people. She said that she avoids negative people and negative situations whenever she can.
Great advice. Try it as much as you can. You’ll find that keeping negative people away from you will bring happiness to you.
I'm a big fan of Dennis Prager. Dennis is a brilliant conservative talk show host on the Salem Radio Network.
Dennis authored an article discussing happiness as a moral obligation - on a large scale and on a one to one scale. The concept is genius. If you force yourself to be happy in order to affect the people around you, it becomes a very nice circle of good emotions. Think about it... you make your spouse happy by being happy and it becomes more and more easy for you to be happy.
Read the article here.
You should watch this. It will change you in very good ways.
My wife and I went up to Sedona, AZ for a romantic weekend to celebrate our anniversary.
On the way, we stopped at an old copper mining town. It’s a ghost town but about 500 people live there who make their living from the tourists. There are a few restaurants. We decided to eat lunch there and picked the one restaurant that was air conditioned. The food, service and ambiance were surprisingly good.
Our waiter seemed to be a happy person. Not bubbling with happiness, but more of a happy contentment with his life. After lunch I asked him if he is happy and what makes him happy? When I ask this question, I always tell people that there is no right or wrong answer. Like most people, he was a little stunned and had to think for a moment. He then said that he is happy because he finally gave up depending on others for his happiness and learned to create his own. He also tries to live in the NOW (shades of Echart Tolle) and not think about the past nor worry about the future. The key here is living in the now, which he admits is pretty hard for humans to do.
Later in the day, we arrived at our hotel. Actually a Bed and Breakfast. Very nice place that we’ve stayed at before. The owners are very, very into religion. I’m more secular, although I do believe in God. I asked one of them if he is happy and what makes him happy. He said he is happy because he knows what his future is going to be after he dies. He is going to heaven and will live in eternal bliss for millions of years.
I found it very interesting that one person’s happiness comes from living in the NOW and the other’s comes from the what will be in his FUTURE. I haven’t met anyone yet who is happy because of the PAST.
Here are some ideas that I’ve picked up from other sites. I hope you find something in here that helps with your happiness.
Don’t give others the power to control your emotion. Those are only yours and it is only for you to manipulate.
The person that you will spend most time with in your life is yourself, so better try to make yourself as interesting as possible.
Never compare your weaknesses to other people’s strengths.Own your life, or someone will own it for you.
We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.
If you risk nothing, you risk everything.
Slow Down – Urgency and haste instantly diminish accuracy, awareness and happiness. There is a big difference between getting things done and getting things done effectively.
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” Ralph Waldo Emerson“
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” Herman Cain
“Happiness is a function of accepting what is.”Werner Erhard
“It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.”Charles Haddon Spurgeon
“There are hundreds of languages in the world, but a smile speaks them all“
”People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
“A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.”